Thoughts from Janel:
Today is a zero day in Tehachapi. I need a rest. Lately I have felt physically and mentally weighed down by my backpack. I struggle with a love-hate relationship with the trail. I love the experience but sometimes become overwhelmed by the physical and mental demands. I end up judging myself and having a lot of negative self-talk in my head. Over the last week it was bubbling to the surface. I am always one who takes care of them self in order to care for others. As a nurse in non-pct life, this has always been most important for me. I have not been taking the best care of myself on the trail and therefore I cannot be the hiking partner Alan needs. I have decided to take a break for the next 7 days. I am going to rest. I have a great friend in the Bay Area ( thanks Kristen!) that is going to let me stay with her. Alan will hike on the next 140 miles to Kennedy Meadows. I will work on lining up some kind of ride and meet him there. I know this makes me a section hiker, but that is fine with me! I will miss him, but know he will be just fine. I think he will enjoy this solo part of the journey. I will go off on my urban journey for a week and then return with a new perspective. See you in a week!


0 thoughts on “Day 41 zero miles

  1. Janel, enjoy your break! Don’t feel bad about it. You guys are both amazing for even attempting this trip!

  2. Janel, I think having the insight to know what you need to nurture your soul is the first step to renewing your passion. It is only then that you can give (and receive) from others. I think you made a great decision!! There are so many people, myself included, who would have never even attempted what you and Allan have accomplished! Have a great week and I’m sure all of us on your blog would love to see some pictures!!

  3. You are still my hero! You have hiked about 498 more miles than I ever could! We Love You
    Have fun on your break, and tell Alan to be careful!

  4. You have earned it!! Relax and enjoy your time off. It will give you a new perspective when you go back. Love you both. Mom and Dad

  5. Janel, God bless you. What a difficult decision that must have been! So glad you are taking care of yourself. This trip is deep on so many levels. I could never have done what you have. My love to you and good luck. Alan will be good to ‘bach it.” Blessings, Joanie

  6. Janel,
    Please stop beating yourself up! What you are doing is so awesome, and something most of us wouldn’t have the guts to do. Go pamper yourself, do some yoga & rest. You’ll be ready to join Alan soon.
    Love & miss you so much,

  7. Hi, Janel! Niki, now Half Dome, here. (I’m one of the two bald sisters.) Just found your blog while here at the Motel 6 in Mojave where we zeroed today. Good for you for making the decision to take some time off so you can enjoy the rest of the trail. Enjoy your time off and hopefully we’ll run into you and Alan up the trail.

  8. Janel–glad to hear you are listening to your inner self and taking care if yourself. What you have already accomplished is amazing! A great “life experience” which you can be so proud of! (I’m pretty proud of you, too!)

  9. GOOD ON YOU, GIRL! A sign of maturity is being able to care for yourself first. We cannot give what we do not have. Fill up your own cup……then you can help to fill another’s cup. You are a wise woman. Hope to see you in WA state. Happy Tutu……..trail angel.

  10. Janel,
    You are amazing & have accomplished so much!! Take this time to rest & renew, & you will be back on the trail with a new frame of mind. You are an inspiration! You guys are in my thoughts & prayers during this entire journey. Miss you girl. Xo

  11. Janel, what an adventure you and Alan have had so far. I love all the pictures and the names of the people you two have met along the trail. Go into San Francisco and enjoy civilization and then return to Alan and the wilds. i swear you were born in the wrong decade. thinking of you. barb

    1. Thanks Barb! Good to hear from you! I have enjoyed my time in the Bay Area! I rested up and am so ready to get back to Alan and hiking!!

  12. What you are feeling is normal. It is an incredibly challenging physical and mental journey that makes you push yourself to the limits to be able to go day in and day out for months at a time. You need vacations from your vacation to recharge what you deplete while on the trail. Those feelings will return, and when they do take a zero day or three to pamper yourself. The physical discomforts will not change but you will become accustomed to them and the challenge in the long hall is to overcome the mental obstacles. The journey is the destination!! Good luck!!

    1. Thank you. I have been learning so much both on and off the trail. Before I began the hike, I thought the physical part would be the hardest, for me the mental part has proved harder. I am rested and ready to go. I miss trail and head back tomorrow : )

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